what happened to my template?

..oh lord, save me from eternal damnation.











DO.. Kiss your friends "HELLO" (Drew Barrymore & Liv Tyler in Oscars 1999)


Sino siya?

Ahh. Oo, kilala ko siya. Matagal na rin kami magkakilala. Marahil hindi mo siya kilala dahil ako lang ang may kakilala sa kanya. Tahimik kasi siyang tao. Ayaw niya ng maraming nakakaalam ng buhay niya. Ayaw niya ng may nagmamanipula kung anong dapat at hindi niya dapat gawin. Ayaw niya sa mga taong chismoso/a na wala ng ibang ginawa kundi pag-usapan ang buhay niya. Ayaw niya sa mga taong walang pangarap dahil hibang siya pag nangangarap. Ayaw niya ng magulo at maingay. Ayaw niya sa mainit na lugar. Ayaw niyang ipagsiksikan ang sarili niya. at higit sa lahat, ayaw niya nang umiyak.

Sabi niya sa akin, Gusto daw niya ng payapang buhay. Yun bang walang nakikiaalam, walang nagmamanipula at walang nagdedesisyon para sa kabutihan niya. Bakit? Ano nga bang paki mo, e buhay niya yun.

Lagi mo siyang makikitang malungkot sa sulok ng kanyang mumunting kwarto.. nag-iisip kung tama nga bang wakasan ang buhay at magpaalam sa pait ng kahapon. Itong kaibigan kong ito, medyo hindi pinalad sa pag-ibig. Laging sawi. Yung una niyang minahal ay iniwan siya, yung pangalawa naman ay humanap ng iba, yung ikatlo ay kinailangang umalis upang mangibang bansa, at yung ikaapat.. ewan ko na.

Kung tumawa man siya ay naku, pasalamat ka na dahil minsan lang ito at swerte ka na kung marinig mo ang halakhak niya na para bang kinikiliti. Sa dami ng iniisip niya, hindi na niya alam kung saan niya isisingit ang kasiyahan. Parang kinalimutan na niya ang pagtawa. Puro hinagpis na lamang ang natira.

Kaya ngayon, nananahimik ang puso niya dahil sa takot na magmahal muli. Ngunit binulong niya sa akin na siya'y patuloy na nagdarasal na sana.. SANA.. may dumating at sa pagkakataong ito, hawakan ang kamay niya at sabay nilang labanan ang hinaharap.


Just for today, do not worry.

im having a MAJOR trouble with this damn computer. i can't upload my pics (badtrip! i already have 500+ pics to upload) argh. i miss uploading and writing. so, now im feeling sleepy and exhausted (like, what's new?)

we had a dinner last saturday (BARKADA DINNER!) at Pier1.. i missed them so much. Haha. Yen was kinda like "whaaaaaat?" when we all agreed to tease her on having a boyfriend, being pregnant and traveling abroad (im sooory yenlab!). The dinner was unexpected since Yen was the one who finalized it. Yet, she came late since her patient had an arrest. But its okay. We were able to see eachother after the dinner at 9ball.

Were one of the "pinaka-mababaw" na barkada in the whole wide universe. Sorry, we weren't able to make/create a name for the barkada. Okay, let's just call it "THE BARKADA". Since i am with THE WORLD'S Greatest People. I can't imagine life without them.. God is soo good for giving us NOT the things that we want, but the things/persons that we needed.

I miss those days.. Like when we were still together. We're all soo tight (Barkada) as in everyday single day, major escapade with barkada and yen's adventure.. okay, don't forget the pretty driver. Every once in a while, i sit back and just let those sweet memories flicker my mind and always ended up bursting with tears and laughters. Grabe, sobrang na-miss ko sila lahat. even our "KAHIT SAAN" days. Eating has always been a BIG problem in our barkada. Coz when someone in the circle asks "saan tayo kakain?" .."kahit saan" ang laging sagot.

well, tama naman.. Kahit saan, basta sama-sama.


A soul at peace.

"Each man is master of his own death,
and all that we can do when the time comes
is to help him die without fear of pain."


Isang Ling-GO!

1. Nagsulat ako ngayon kasi Linggo at medyo nasa bahay ako pero may sakit ako (matinding sipon at mataas na lagnat). Sa wakas, bumigay ang katawan ko. minsan naiisip ko na daig ko pa ang mga may trabaho. kasi 7days ako wala sa bahay (dahil *quote* sa pag-aaral? *quote*) haha! yehes. oo naman. :) Naisip ko, kailangan ko na magseryoso. kanina nga bago ako gumising e kinundisyon ko pa ang sarili ko na papasok talaga ako. nakakaaliw kasi yung pinag-uusapan sa klasrum. masaya. tska, madami akong natutunan kahapon kahit na lumuluha yung ilong ko sa sipon (literal ito!) grabe, ayoko na ng sipon. e may allergic rhinitis pa naman ako. kaya konting usok lang na naaamoy ko, e ayun na.. sobrang sneeze (anong tagalog nito?) na. Haaaay. sinasabi ko na nga ba, hindi ako makakapasok ngayon kahit anong pilit ko sa mga lolo at lola ko. kaya ko naman pumasok pero ayaw nga nila. parang pahinga ko na rin daw ito tutal hindi naman ako lumiliban sa klase at pirstaym ko ito. Haha. bait ko ba? Hindi naman, nag-cucut naman ako kung boring (e pano kung boring palagi?) edi cut lang ng cut. Hindi, biro lang. Nagbibigay naman ako ng hustisya sa mga guro ko. Nakikinig at nagsusulat naman ako kung kinakailangan. pero pag nakatulog ako sa klase, pasensyahan na lang.

2. Pag nasa labas ako, lagi akong inaantok. pero pag oras na ng pag-tulog, hindi naman ako makatulog. kaya umiinom ako ng pampatulog. O, ayoko talagang gawin ito pero kailangan ko na.. si lolo kasi, kinukunsinti ako. Matulog daw ako. kaya siya pa mismo ang nagbibigay sa akin ng droga (grabe yun!) dein. Stilnox, pare. para siyang Valium na hindi mo rin pwedeng mabili agad-agad sa tindahan ng gamot. kailangan din ng prescription tska dapat kalahati lang ang iinomin. Hindi ko maintindihan, bakit ba hirap na hirap na naman ako matulog ngayon? insomniac na naman ako. nakakainis. badtrip. alam mo yun, gustong gusto mo na pero hindi ka naman makatulog.

3. Mahirap din pala umuwi sa isang bahay na hindi mo naman talaga bahay. ika nga nila.. "Home is where the heart is". Ngayon naiintindihan ko na kung bakit kahit alas-tres ng madaling araw e gusto kong umuwi sa bahay namin kahit na ang layo layo layo talaga ng lugar kung saan ako nakatira! :)

Ok, walang kwenta.


Don’t you dare die on us, Ely Buendia

By Francis Ochoa
Inquirer
Last updated 11:49pm (Mla time)
01/13/2007

WHATEVER you do, Mr. Ely Buendia, don’t die on us.

You are a music icon who is as rare as they come. You are a vacant cab with an accommodating driver during the holidays. You are a cop who’s actually out to protect the citizenry. You are an honest politician. You are a film fest movie deserving of an award. You are a critically-acclaimed Cueshe hit.

I am a loyal Thomasian; you are the only reason I regret not having studied at the University of the Philippines.

If you go, what does that leave us with? A handful of artistic bands under the radar and Orange and Lemons. We scrounge the city for bars where one plays, and puke when the other’s songs go on air.

Always, always
As long as you’re around, we will always have Eraserheads. E-Heads. The band. The Band.

Forget Pupil. You will always be Eraserheads to me, just as E-Heads can never be reincarnated without you.

You played at 6-underground once with your new band, Pupil. Then for encores, you played two E-heads hits. I still have one of those performances on my cell phone video library, tucked between two sexy clips (that’s how much I idolize you).

Before you, there were Pepe Smith and Mike Hanopol. Smith has had the sense to stay alive—never mind if, physically, he’s long been a weeded-out, jail-dried version of his old self—long after you made the E-heads the next great Pinoy rock band after Juan dela Cruz. Hanopol lives on, too. Don’t tell me you’re planning to die ahead of them?

Die, Ely, and Hale’s going to write a tribute song for you. That should jolt your heart back to life.

Don’t get me wrong. I would benefit greatly from your death.

Imagine how much my Ibañez acoustic guitar, which I bought for P15,000, would be worth now that it has your signature and the dedication, “Francis, rock and roll!” A friend of mine was willing to purchase it for P20, 000—and you are still alive. And that doesn’t include the snapshot of you signing it. Or the notarized affidavit of an Inquirer employee who overheard you saying it was your first time to affix a signature on a guitar.

Do you hear me? You. Can’t. Die. Yet. The next definitive band in the local scene hasn’t emerged. Your presence helps keep music fans—even idiotic ones like me—patiently waiting.

A heart attack at 36? That’s no way for music icons to go. If you were found dead after OD-ing on your drug of choice, I’d probably be more at peace with that. Or maybe if you blew your brains out like Kurt Cobain did.
Or if you were shot, the way John Lennon was, by a maniac—imagine if it was me! Imagine how much my guitar would cost then!

No, Ely, the Philippine music industry needs you. Some say you’re past your musical prime, that after struggling to rein yourself (sometimes with the help of Raymund M and the rest of E-heads) from falling into three-chord pop compositions, there’s nothing left in that wonderfully insane brain of yours but indecipherable music that only those in cloak-and-dagger security agencies would appreciate.

I disagree.

I think you’re very much like a surfer who, exhausted from catching wave after similar wave, decided to plant his board in the sand and sit down to watch the sea. But you aren’t just watching. Your eye is cast towards the horizon, eyeing that perfect wave, waiting.

So get through this and live longer, ayt? When that perfect wave comes, we want to watch you go out there and catch it.

This also appears as a blog entry on theboyfromsmallville.wordpress.com.


I don't have the answers.

haha. ive been busy lately. No updates, No kwentos.. as in Nothiiing. I will probably update this blog next month.

i missed writing and i think too much..

i know i'll change.


it makes me feel better.

Writing..i mean. :) shit, i've been wanting to do this. But i am really really really having a hard time composing an entry like this. And now that i DO have a time (gimme a minute to finish my sentence) hmmm.. here's a big DOT. (.) PERIOD. THE END.

This is Craaaazy. (i know)