dumating ka na, naiinip na ako.

May sense nga ba ang paghihintay?

Ay, ako ba? Ewan.
Pansin ko lang, lagi na lang akong naghihintay. Naghihintay sa tren dahil masyadong madaming tao ang sumasakay (mahirap ata makipag-siksikan), naghihintay sa pagbabago. naghihintay sa nanay ko, naghihintay sa oras para tumakbo, naghihintay sa isang kaibigang nahuhuli sa usapan, naghihintay na unawain, naghihintay na matupad ang mga natatanging mithiin. naghihintay na pansinin at naghihintay mahalin.

Mahirap ba? Oo. Malamang. Kasi umaasa ka. Hindi naman masama maghintay.. basta`t alam mo kung kailan ka bibitaw. Dapat alam mo na may hangganan din ang paghihintay. Pag nasaktan ka na, tama na. Pag umiyak ka sa una, okay lang.. pero sa pagpatak ng luha mo sa pangalawa, katangahan na. Nakakapagod kasi.. maghihintay ka tapos hindi naman pala darating. Naghihintay ka lang sa wala. Para bang naghihintay kang mahulog ang mansanas sa puno ng kahel. Hindi kailanman naging madali iyon. Akala mo magiging masaya ka..pero sa kalaunan, hindi naman pala. Anong labas non? Isang sawi sa pag-ibig na akala mo`y para sayo na talaga.

Sabi ng isang kaibigan, `sige..hintayin mo lang., may mangyayari sa paghihintay mo. Maniwala ka. Malay mo, diba?` pumayag ako naman ako.

Sabi naman ng dalawa: `itigil mo yan, walang mangyayari sa paghihintay mo. Pinapaasa ka lang niyan.` tapos, umaasa ka naman. letche. Itigil na `tong kamunduhang kabaliwan na ito. tama na. Sobra na.

Umasa. Salitang nakakaasar at pumupukaw ng maraming puso. Ang mga lalake nga naman, ang hilig magpaasa.. that`s the problem with guys, they make you believe that they love you when they really don`t. tang-inang katotohanan yan. Akala kasi nila hindi mahirap para sa amin yun e. kayong mga lalake, mag-isip naman kayo, isipin niyo naman yung nararamdaman namin. kung hindi mo na talaga mahal ang isang tao, sabihin mo na ng deretsahan. Oo, masakit sa una. Pero mas masakit siguro kung patatagalin mo pa yung sakit na nararamdaman niya. hindi naman ata tamang paglaruan mo ang feelings niya. tao din yan, nasasaktan. Umaasa siyang makatagpo ng isang lalaki. isang totoong lalaki na magmamahal sa kanya. Wag naman sana siya habang buhay na umasa para sa taong hindi naman pala siya mahal.

Nasaan ako? heto ako ngayon.. umaasa. Minsan gusto ko na lang iumpog ang ulo ko sa pader para matauhan. Pero hindi naman sapat iyon para ika`y makalimutan. Sa puntong ito, mahina ako.

Mahal kita, alam mo yan.
Naghintay ako. pero hindi ka naman dumating. Unti unti mong pinupunit ang puso ko.
Naiisip mo pa kaya ako?

Sana lang, sagutin ako ng diyos kung kelan matatapos ang paghihintay ko.


ewan ko kung para kanino ito:
At naaalala ko ang isang awit na puno ng hinagpis,
Parang sugat na humahapdi, lalong tinitistis.
At naalala ko ang wala nang mahal ko
Na naparaan sa aking mundo,
Parang ulap na bumitin nang ilang saglit,
Saka nagpatuloy sa maraming lakad sa himpapawid
At, sa tingin ko, hindi na, hindi na babalik.


Is this the first day of the rest of my life?


what does love mean?

kids say it differently. candidly. but that is how it is supposed to be.


1. When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn`t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.` Rebecca- age 8

2. When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth. -Billy,4

3. Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other. -Karl,5

4. Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs. -Chrissy,6

5. Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK. -Danny,7

6. Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen. -Bobby,7 (Wow!)

7. If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate. -Nikka,6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

8. Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday. - Noelle,7

9. Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken. -Elaine,5



~The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman`s yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When h is Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,

`Nothing, I just helped him cry`


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My barkada. Grabe. How I missed them. iloveyou guys.

Friginal, Pamela Cuenco. PAM
My zoobuddy (because of the mcdo keychain that we bought two freakin years ago.) The baby sa the barkada. Actually, she`s a year older than us but she acts a uhmmm a little younger for her age. 20 slash 12? Haha! She never had a boyfriend. Just like me, she wanted her first to be the last. She`s the reason why Shang became our hang-out place. You couldn`t let her remember a place in an instant. I guess she`ll be the worse driver you`ve ever seen. Mind me, EVER. No sense of direction. She loves eating.. cakes, domes, cheescakes.. anything nice. Haha! She`s an addict. Oh, 214 addict. As in am I real. Hear her then you`ll see. Labo! She was my seatmate before, and I never imagined that we`ll become this close. As in this close. Index finger below the dirty finger. In short, I did crossed my fingers. She`s beautiful. Pretty. Maganda. Cute. Thoughtful. Witty. No wonder, guys fall head over heels for her. Petite. Morena. Had braces for how many years? 5 years I guessed? Happy birthday braces. Rich kid (they even own a resto.. find out..libre kayo!) she laughs on the corniest jokes. She loves taking pictures and sending it via iR or Bluetooth but she hates taking her own pictures. She loves eeyore. Now, you can`t forget me for that. Her intelligence always astounds me. Amazing. Fat ass. She loves math. Actually, any field would do. You`ll never know how far she`ll go. Magaling na bata. Clap. Clap. Her body is a temple. Does height matter? ..not at all. Wahe! Sleeping makes her whole. Grabe. `hipan lang ng hangin..tulog na!` that`s for an instant dude. She`s happy. But I know she`s not. Look inside.. just look. She can fool you with her kilowatt smile and boisterous laugh but I believe that she cannot hide what her eyes has been trying to say. She easily gets drunk. She`s the silencer in the barkada. She won`t tell you her problems or what she`s been going through or what`s bothering her.. it is for you to know her personality and understand that she`s just like that. You cannot change the person. You should talk to her, don`t expect her to talk to you. Seems like opening up is the hardest thing for pam. But despite all we`ve been through, we love her for being like that. she remained discreet even on the toughest situation. I admire her for that. I love her.

Lu, Laurene Zaragoza. YEN
My jokebuddy. The tough chick. Fil-am. Self-confessed driver of our barkada. Remember the term? She never asked for pam-pa-gas? Laurene has many suitors. She never learned to smile not until we told her that she had a nice pearly whites. Yeah. She loves to eat, but she`s now under construction. After 6 pare. Miss flawless. She loves wearing skirts. Well, nice legs? then flaunt it. She digs trance and house music. The music epoch she`s into made the barkada dance all night long. She loves the color purple / violet. She`s the youngest child that`s why she`s often called a brat. Hmmm? Is that true? I don`t think so.. like pam, she never had a boyfriend. Told you, we all belong to the same org. man haters society? Haha! She`s intelligent. Fast learner. Memorizer. Fast eater. Her perception about this or that stuff will really amaze you. On the lighter side, see her point then you can have answers to your questions. Insensitive? Oo ata! Im not sure but tons of people kept telling her that she is. Her place has been a haven for us. The certified suplada and moody. if you`ve done something wrong, prepare for a blast. Galit si yen yen. Shhhh.. quiet please. Takot kami. Haha! she loves hanging out, if there`s time. CHILL. She`s famous because she is. Labo. Hindi siya mabait, mabuti siyang tao. There`s a big difference. Go, figure it out. Yen always reminds me of hapi house, grahams, sky flakes, growth balls, tandang sora, adventure and Chinese. Wo de tian fu. Though she`s not aware of it, she`s a heart throb. She`s frank. She`s a total vain. She loves pictures. She will say what she wanted to say. Her ideas were greatly appreciated. she`s a critic. You can hail her because of her perception about life. Hail to thee beloved. She truly cares for us, I can attest to that. She treasures her family, barkada and bunchful friends. She`s the mommy of the barkada. She sometimes set the rules. She wanted a thing to be done. She`s in the right path.. so, follow her. Sometimes, you cannot believe what you must believe. I can say out loud that through Yen, i am blessed.. i am lucky to have you and I will be forever thankful for having her in my life. thanks for all the good and bad things, I`ve learned a lot from them.she will always have a special place in my heart. She`s worth living. i love you.

Alipala, Jerlyn Magbiro. JE
Bulilit. Crinkles. Red horse buddies. Date-mate. Born on Sept.14, same as pam. But she`s luckier than the latter for she was born a year after eeyore. Haha! amongst all of my kabarakada, I can say that je is the kindest. She never holds a grudge. You can easily approach her because of her welcoming dimples nevermind the hugs that she`s willing to give. Her shoulder is big enough to cry or lean on . She might look like a `musmos`.. but she thinks like a giant. Her brain is bigger than her ooops.. she`s also corny. We`re all corny. No questions, aryt? She lives in a far far away land. Or should I say, a province. She`s mabagal kumilos, kumain.. name it! she`s the eldest child..yet the smallest! She`s a joker. Faced with a tough situation, Je welcomes it with a smile. She wanted a problem to be solved. She easily gets drunk.. and with a deal, you must take her shots (this is for je`s sake!) Magpatalo ka na para makuha ang shot niya.. because a major laughtrip is coming your way pag nalasing siya. Grabe! I won`t forget that. benta. She easily gets sick so you must be prepared with a Non-Drowse decolgen. She loves to sleep. Even under the ampitheater of our class. She`s a tearjerker.. I love being with her. Her presence is enough to say na `buo ang araw mo!` we became close because of summer. She`s friendly. Malakas mang-asar and mang-trip. She`s always late. When she craves for something, she must eat that. people sometimes laugh along with us because of our `hall of fame` laugh. Laugh like there`s no tomorrow, we live by that phrase. When we`re together, we do crazy stuffs. I had her autograph. She had mine, too. Her voice is soo liit. She can even dub for an anime.. go, hire her! she`s crazy and im weird. Someone scolded her because of her being thoughtful. Sometimes, you might think that she`s offended with the things you blurted out. But she`s not. not even close to that. she loves us. The whole barkada. Everybody looks up to her for advices. Call her 24/7., and you`ll see. She can sympathize with you. you can talk to her about everything and anything even under the afternoon sun while walking along quezon ave.. She loves kamote fries. she may not be the sweetest person on earth but she will let you feel that she cares for you and loves you so much. I know, because I felt it. she loves being loved. I won`t let go. I love her to pieces.

Dayao, Kennylyne dela Cruz. KEN
Pare. BuddiY. Flat tops. The dancer. A writer, now a rebel. Ken is boyish. But if we`re going on gimmicks, we usually borrows her lip gloss. Waaah. Sooo shiny. Ken is not a rebel, she did that for a cause. And we understand what she felt that night. She`s a good friend. `back you up dude` ..she`s famous for that line. You can also trust her with your deepest secrets. Super lakas mang-asar and mag-trip. She`s always in Seattle`s. She`s happy now because someone makes her happy. And we`re all happy for her. she welcomed me to the world of struggling writers. She even made a poem for me. I was able to watch Korean movies because of her influence. my multi-talented kabarkada. She knows how to play the guitar and drums, she`s an artist. She loves to draw. A dancer.. see her moves and groove with it! Dang it. 2 years ago, that was first day of school in second term, I won`t forget her because for me, she`s papansin. I even raised my brows. I used to hate her. but after spending a little time with her, I realized that first impression really won`t last. Know her, then you`ll see. I love it. ..to be continued (again..)


to be continued.. ken, nell, nadz, jamie, mary, net john, papsy, jayvee.. promise! sorry.. hehe! i will continue this. promise! abangan ang susunod na kabanata. ilove you guys.

sorry kung wrong grammers! wahe. di ako unong eh! pathetic.

once again, love you guys. CHILL.


what about love?
What if I took my time to love you?
What if I put no one above you?
What if I did the things
That really mattered?
What if I ran through
Hoops of disaster?

No one would care if
We never made it
We're in this alone
So why don`t we face it
There is no room to
Blame one another
We just need time to
Forgive each other

[Chorus:]
What about love?
What about feeling?
What about all the things that make life worth living?
What about faith?
What about trust?
And tell me baby...what about us?

How can I give this
Love a new beginning?
How can I stop the rain?
It`s never ending
How do I keep my soul believing?
Memories of how we
Should be keep calling

[Chorus]

I`ll take the rivers rise
I`ll take the happy times
I`ll take the moments of disaster


when will someone sing this to me? sooo many questions, right? i badly need an answer.. sometimes, you must move mountains to see the answers. to see the reality that it can never be.


hanging in the cliff
i joined the poignant pangs of grief
drenched with those lies
i blew them for a while.

Losing hope tonight
only if you could show the light
The past kept taunting me
which is impossible for you to see.

Yearning for youl soul
dividing me upto my sole
Clinging in your pride
i know it`ll will subside.

Deepening wound in my flesh
Vehement pain at its best
An enigma which can never be solved
This feeling i`ve never outgrown.

nyak! ang babaw ko! laboooo!


SUCK rhymes with FUCK

What sucks is that I`m here
Staring at my ceiling.
What sucks is I`m here
Still having this feeling.
This feeling I don`t know what
It is made of,
But it`s the feeling I`m
most afraid of..
and when I come to think of it all,
I just can`t help but suddenly fall
Because what really sucks
Is the fact that you
have moved on..
and what sucks more is that
I`m still here holding on..


What if I bid my goodbye? Would someone care? There`s no one here. Im alone. You cannot decipher my mind. Something is missing. I can hear the silence. Pushing me towards the inevitable truth. The wind, I can feel it. the music which runs in my mind. Then I thought: Why change the world if the world is not watching?

What about all the things that make life worth living? Will I let them conceive me? no, never.

Listen to what im not saying. Maybe those inner thoughts can help you ask for something more.

Chicken drumsticks, that is.